Modern life is full of pressures, fears and frustrations – in other words, it’s stressful. Just five minutes of watching the day’s global news can make our stress levels mount.
Racing against the clock, sitting in traffic, arguing with our spouse — all of these make our bodies react as if we were facing a physical threat. We know that this reaction helped early man survive, but in today’s world it can make us more vulnerable to ill health.
With so much awareness about stress, why are so many people still suffering from it and why are we not doing something about it? Has it become such an integral part of society? Are we really not aware of the effect it has on our bodies? Are we not aware of the effect it has on those around us, especially our families?
Yes, stress could be affecting us and we might not be aware of it. Certain signs and symptoms of stress, for example a headache, muscle aches or an upset stomach, can be interpreted as illness.
Biofeedback
A few weeks ago I presented a workshop entitled ‘Stress and the Entrepreneur’, in which I included a brief demonstration of how stress affects our bodies. By attaching a sensor to a participant’s finger, we were all able to view that person’s heart rate on the monitor. Using this form of biofeedback, the individual selected was able to directly experience how her type of thoughts or beliefs and her body activity affected her heart rate (when a person is stressed, heart rate and respiration increase). All of the participants were quite astonished. Often this is just enough to motivate someone to do something about managing their stress!
Expected behaviour
If I only explain to people how their thoughts and physical activity could have a negative effect on their bodies, many reply, “Isn’t that interesting”. Most often, however, nothing is done about it until we are forced by lack of sleep, migraines, stomach problems or worse to take action
Biofeedback helps a person learn stress-reduction skills by providing information about muscle tension, heart rate, and other vital signs as a person attempts to relax. It is used to gain control over certain bodily functions that cause tension and physical pain. Yet even with these messages from the body, people are not slowing down.
People are multitasking both at work and at home. It has become an accepted part of our daily routines to the point that it has become an admired trait in our drive to be the ‘best’ parents and employees. Not only has it become accepted, it has become expected behaviour as we strive for success. What drives us to this level of activity where our systems become stressed and begin to break down?
Attention deficit traits
Dr. Edward Hallowell who wrote one of the first books on ADD (attention deficit disorder) now writes about ADT (attention deficit traits) because they have become so common. Many children and adults have attention problems created by our fast-paced, multi-tasking society. For example, as we watch the news we are taken from one news story taking place in one part world to another in just seconds. Meanwhile, there is an information banner continuously streaming along the bottom of the picture. In reality, short attention spans are being encouraged rather than discouraged In my practice, I also work with children. Most are referred to me because they are not paying attention in class or are not obtaining the marks that are needed to get the education that is being encouraged by parents and teachers. While many have been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder), I soon discover that with a lot of the children it is not ADD but rather a case of ADT (attention deficit traits).
Inappropriate reactions
In the poll mentioned in the article ‘Children and Stress’ (The New Stork Times, December 2005), families were rated as second behind education as creating the most stress. Children experience stress both at home and at school. In an article that appeared in Psychology1 Today, 02 December 2005, ‘Stress: It’s Worse Than You Think”, it was stated that “psychological stress doesn’t just put your head in a vice. New studies document exactly how it tears away at every body system — including your brain. But get this: The experience of stress in the past magnifies your reactivity to stress in the future”. The body ‘adjusts’ to stress. It becomes sensitized so that we act inappropriately to stressors.
Yes, our stress has an effect on our families. There is a tremendous amount of pressure put on the children to perform at home and at school. The parents — who are stressed — react with anger and impatience, incapable of dealing with the stress of getting their children to perform, thereby teaching the children how to deal inappropriately with stress. The children are often diagnosed with an attention problem and appointments are arranged for an already ‘stressed’ family schedule.
There are many courses, workshops and vacations designed to help people reduce stress. Some people take medications or go for a massage, but these are all only temporary measures. In many cases we try to alleviate stress with what can become an addiction — with disastrous results. Many of us wait for vacations to relieve that stress but, unfortunately, it takes the full vacation before we finally relax and then we are back to work, returning to that same state we were in before the vacation.
Take a deep breath
One of my first business clients was a very successful executive. He spent a great deal of time away from the home. He said to me, “John, it seems as life is passing me by. My children are growing up too quickly and I am not a part of this. Can you slow me down?” He was aware that his lifestyle was having an effect on him and his family. He made a decision to make a commitment to change himself, his thoughts, his beliefs and ultimately how he was reacting to stressors.
In article from Psychology Today, the authors suggest “taking a deep breath and finding a stress-stopping routine this instant”. It means that we need to make a change on the inside, to learn how to become calmer and more focused. Perhaps ‘accomplishing’ a little less – but doing fewer things belter. As we become calmer and more focused, we feel better and react better to our families.
Becoming aware of how stress affects you – your body, your thoughts and feelings, and your behaviour – and recognizing the signs and symptoms are the first steps in managing your stress.
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